There Is A Home After All
by The Pillars of Transcendence
Summary: Goodbye Georgia, hello Virginia. Katrina is now going to DC with the group but things take an interesting turn when they are recruited by Aaron into Alexandria. As they get settled, tensions rise between the two groups and Katrina realises that everything might not be as it seems here… Second in the Gaelic Songs Saga [Carl/OC]


_**Thank you everyone for the wonderful reviews and all the favourites and follows for Part 1 of this story 'There Is Hope After All' (which you should read before this if you haven't already). It really helped me to continue writing this, so here we go: Part 2 of Season 5!**_

 _ **For people wondering what she looks like, I ended up figuring it out (finally) and she's meant to look like Alexia Fast. As for the songs, I'm going to put the song/version that I use whenever she sings in the bottom AN so you can listen to it too.**_

-1-

Well, the group now believed in my immunity.

I was squished in the back of a car with Carol, Daryl and Carl who had Judith situated on his lap while Liesel was curled up on mine. Rick, Michonne, Glenn, Tyreese and Noah were leading the way in another car up front while all the others were in cars behind us. I leant my head on the cool window and crossed my arms over themselves on top of her, allowing myself to drift off into my thoughts to the humming sound of the engine.

I recalled how silent it was as we buried Beth just outside of Atlanta, the sound of the wind in the boughs of trees seeming muted and as dead as the corpse of a blonde girl who couldn't have been over twenty: Maggie's younger sister. The feeling of grief followed us for days, but it seemed to cling to Maggie more than any other although I noticed that Daryl seemed to share that burden too. He must have had a strong bond with her or something. We camped out in the woods that night, stringing up wires with empty cans attached to them around our group, and I have to admit I mentally facepalmed when I saw them do that, wondering how in hell I hadn't thought of doing something like that before. Night quickly fell and we all sat around a dimming fire in relative quiet, until Rick brought up the subject of my immunity. I had listened carefully but made sure to stay silent as they discussed whether I actually was or not, and what they should do with me. I will confess I started to panic a bit when the option of leaving me behind came up, though I was glad I wouldn't fight against that decision alone as both Michonne and Carl came to my defence. I finally broke into the conversation, since it seemed that the entire group was hopping between each choice.

'Can I make a suggestion?'

They had all turned to look at me.

'Since I'm bitten and haven't displayed any signs of it yet, if it's just taking longer to reach my organs than normal I should turn in the next twelve hours, right?'

I had taken a breath and wondered whether I was insane or not as a plan formed in my mind. If this was what I had to do to prove it to them, then I would do it.

'Therefore…tie me up to that tree for the night.'

I pointed at the only tree within our perimeter and I saw Rick glance it with an unreadable expression before he turned back to me.

'I'll have either turned by tomorrow morning, or…well, if I haven't turned after two weeks I won't turn at all.'

I had given a look to the entire group to see Michonne and Gabriel surprised, Carl frowning at me, and Rick and Daryl looking unconvinced. Eventually though, Rick nodded.

'Alright.'

And then they did as I said, tying me to the tree but leaving my stuff next to me (it seemed they truly had learned their lesson about touching my things after all) and I'd sat with my knife open beside me so if everything went to hell I could defend myself. Liesel sat by me and I petted her in a soothingly repetitive motion, simply watching her face and wondering how I had been so LUCKY as to have a companion like her. Eventually I drifted off like the others though Rick, Carol, Michonne, Glenn and Daryl stayed up talking and their lowered voices got lost in my sleep. The next morning I was woken by a sharp tap on the shoulder, and I'd squinted through the rising dawn light to find Carl was stood over me, looking at me with an expression that I'd had to do a double take of. He'd seemed to be confused, that was definitely there, but there seemed to be anger simmering under the surface of it, waiting to spring out at a moment's notice. His eyes had blazed blue fire and burned in the dim morning glow.

'Why did you do that?'

His voice was lowered and it was husky with sleep, but his anger was more evident in that question than his face: it came out as a deep growl that made me freeze for a moment and blink at him in apprehension. Um…what was wrong with him? Why was he acting so weird? Eventually I'd found my voice.

'What do you mean?'

I'd tried to keep my voice as low as possible, and it had sounded hoarse from the sudden awakening. He'd knelt down beside me and grabbed my knife which had been lying open on the dirt beside me, beginning to cut at the ropes none-too-gently and I could see his grip on the handle was vicelike as I winced each time he sliced through a coil of rope. Seriously, he was acting so strange. What had happened to upset him?

What had I done to upset him?

'You literally ask to tie yourself to a tree! You leave yourself vulnerable to a walker attack and you'd be trapped if one happened! And you do this…to prove a stupid point?!'

He'd continued to cut at my bonds and I had remained quiet as he did. So THAT was what this was about? Me being tied to a tree to try and allay the fears of the others? Damn it he hadn't understood it at all, had he? His eyes were narrowed to slits as he took out his anger on me and sent my neutral mood tumbling into the abyss of irritation that would no doubt last for the rest of the day.

'Why? Why do this?!'

All I could think was 'enough of this already, it's too early in the fucking morning'. And I am SERIOUSLY not a morning person, even on my good days. At that point I'd snapped at him, levelling him in my sights with eyes narrowed like his own.

'To prove a stupid point, as you put it. And I don't get what the hell you're so annoyed about.'

I heard Carl take a breath, obviously trying to calm himself down as he continued to cut. He spoke through gritted teeth.

'I'm annoyed that you were willing to do something dumb like this.'

'Well Carl it was all I could think of, alright?!'

I lowered my head into my hand and let my hair slither around my face gladly. I didn't want to argue with him. I just didn't get it: nothing had happened and I was fine. He was having a hissy fit over nothing!

And yet, I could see his point. If something HAD happened during the night, like a roamer ambush, I would be tied to the tree and it would take me forever to saw through the ropes that bound me. If roamers noticed me trapped there and went in for the kill, they could rip me apart easily since I wouldn't be able to move. And I REALLY didn't want to push my luck by getting another bite on my leg or something. And then there were the others to think about. If I was with this group then they would be (I hope) reluctant or downright refuse to leave me to deal with the roamers alone. They would stay and fight, and one of them could end up bitten and dead while I was sawing through and it would be my fault.

Ugh, I was damned both ways.

Just as I reached this conclusion I heard Carl give a sigh of regret and I knew he felt just as bad as I did. I'd felt the tension of the last coil snap as I was fully free, and I remained frozen for a moment as I heard Carl stand again. Reluctantly I pushed away my greasy hair to see him readjust the sheriff's hat he always wore and look at the others who were still in the obliviousness of sleep. How I longed to be sleeping still. I'd stiffly gotten to my feet and a pain in my neck starting to twinge, sleeping up against a tree not doing me any good. As I stood, I got a strange sense of peace with the quiet filling my mind and cool morning air filling my lungs. I inhaled deeply and saw the fingers of light start to turn to yellow through the blinds of the trees.

'It's a new day.'

I'd stared upwards at the rustling leaves of the trees as the words escaped my lips half in euphoria and half in fear, but all in finality. Something had changed now, I could feel it. One chapter had ended and now this one was beginning, and whether that was good or bad, well, I guessed I would find out. I'd looked back at Carl who side glanced at me. There must have been something different about me, because when he took in my appearance he turned to face me a little more, looking me up and down. I couldn't see myself through Carl's eyes, but if I could I might've seen the way my pale skin seemed to be glowing in the morning light, or the way my large eyes had a shine that had never been present before. I did see, however, Carl's expression as he studied me and tried to figure out where this change was coming from, why it seemed I was glowing with my own inner light. His eyes drifted back up to mine as I stepped forward towards him.

'Let's watch the beginning of it.'

Wordlessly we'd walked away from the camp, but before we went I quickly glanced at all the group and saw that Liesel was curled protectively around Judith's little sleeping body as she lay next to Rick. Huh, her mother instincts must be kicking in. I led the way through the trees until we came to the edge, the view taking my breath away for a moment. The trees cut off suddenly to show a grassy meadow, where the sun had yet to come over the horizon. We'd both just stood there for a moment, taking in the sight. Eventually I'd sat on the ground where we stood, waiting for the sun to rise. It was at that point I'd realized that I'd never seen the sunrise before: sure I'd seen early mornings but I'd never actually just sat down and WATCHED the sunrise. I heard Carl sit beside me, matching my crossed-leg position, and the air was clear despite our mini-argument before. However, I broke the silence as we waited.

'Carl, I want to thank you.'

I vaguely saw him look at me out of the corner of my eye.

'You kept your promise of protecting me, even from the others. So…thank you. For everything. For not turning me away when you learned of my bite, and for not leaving me behind.'

That was the point I'd looked at him and saw the new friendship between us reflected in his eyes.

'From now on, I'll have your back.'

We both gave each other a fleeting glimpse of a smile.

'Thanks Kat.'

Kat?

I'd never had a nickname before and when my friend had suggested that one, I had downright refused. But coming from Carl, the way it seemed to roll off his tongue, it made me not mind it. Actually, I wanted to hear it again, which made me question what the hell was going on with me before brushing it off within the space of two seconds. We both turned our heads towards the horizon again just as the first tip of the golden sun peeked over the horizon. I was absolutely captivated by it, the pink and blue and yellow and gold all swirling in my mind to create the memory of my very first sunrise. We continued to watch it, unmoving, though when the sun was halfway up I started to feel a heat coming my left, where Carl was sat. I looked down at the ground in front of me as a cover for looking at him only to find that our hands, which were placed on the ground beside us, were a hair's width from touching. As I'd looked up at the sunrise I had to admit some confusion, and just a little bit of panic, was running through me.

Had he put his hand there on purpose or was it just coincidence? What was I supposed to do, should I move my hand away or…should I…?

No.

I was not going to do that. And Carl would've placed his hand there for no other reason than chance. Damn, I was getting a little paranoid. Okay, a LOT. And even if he hadn't…well, I was just a bit too timid (yes, I was admitting I was a coward) to even contemplate making the next move. So I left it, my fear winning through my bravado. We stayed there for a long time and we only went back when the sun was fully up, both of us not wanting to let this carefree moment of bliss end.

The group had decided to travel north to Virginia, to Noah's walled community, the next day. And though the trip had been 500 miles up the East Coast, things had gone strangely well: no roamer ambushes, no raiders or gangs on the highway, no breakdowns and no unforeseen events. It was almost comical how good our luck was when you couldn't take a single step in Georgia without something going wrong.

I shifted my position as the car rumbled along, and sank back into my thoughts.

When we had headed back we saw that the others were getting up and I saw Rick prowl over, looking less than pleased. I'd figured I was in for an earful along with Carl. We had stayed out there longer than we'd thought, and I could imagine the worry and panic that Rick had felt when he saw his son wasn't nearby. He'd spoke as he walked over.

'I woke up to find you gone.'

He'd stopped in front of us and I had winced. Yep, he wasn't too happy. I spoke up before Carl could say anything.

'It was my fault really.'

Both Rick and Carl had looked at me and I briefly glanced between them to see Carl with his brow raised and Rick looking at me with a neutral expression. I'd focused on Rick again.

'It was my idea.'

Rick nodded slightly and told Carl to go get something to eat, but before I could follow him Rick had stopped me.

'With everything that's happened, I never got to ask you.'

I'd frowned and cocked my head. Um…asked me what? Was it something to do with my bite?

'How many walkers have you killed?'

I'd blinked at him stupidly. What kind of question is that? I had stared at him for a minute longer, trying to figure out why he was asking me in the first place when I realized he was waiting on my answer. I bit my lip and shrugged.

'A hundred? A thousand? I don't know, I never kept count.'

He'd nodded again.

'How many people have you killed?'

My heartrate had skyrocketed and I wondered what the hell to say. The truth? What if they kicked me out? I mentally shook myself. If they kicked me out it wouldn't matter. I had made a promise to Bob to protect them, and would live up to that promise. And I doubted they would kick me out now: I had been given an opening to stay and they now knew about my immunity. But that brought me back to the question.

I'd frowned a little as I suddenly realized something. How many people HAD I killed? I had never stopped to think about it (probably for the best), but it meant I had to search through my memory and count them on my fingers. Rick had watched me do this with a growing wariness every time I raised another finger. I looked at him again when I figured out my number.

'Five.'

'Why?'

I'd went over every kill I had made in my head, trying to repress the emotions that were attached to them. They were in the past, they couldn't hurt me now. I had looked at Rick and bit my lip, staring right through him for a moment before my eyes sharpened and I came back down to earth.

'Because they all tried to kill me.'

We'd locked gazes for a moment, and I knew he knew what that was like, having probably been there himself. He gave one final nod before turning to walk away, but before he went he spoke to me with a tone that I translated as meaning our feuding was over.

'You go get something to eat too, before it's all gone.'

Carl and I had stuck close to each other after that dawn, something which seemed to shock the rest of the group (or those who cared to notice), and I could tell Rick was a little wary of how close we seemed to be getting to each other. But I guess he brushed it off more than he usually would: I was the only one here the same age as Carl and more on his level than the others, after all. As for me though, I was glad that Carl had stayed my truest friend out of this group. And I knew that he was, as it wasn't just me that stuck close to him but he also stayed close to me. And as I thought about our trip up here, we had hardly ever stood apart and left the other's sight even less. The thought made me unsure whether to smile or not.

'Hey Carol?'

The walkie-talkie lying on the dashboard crackled to life and brought me sharply out of my trancelike state. I continued to stare at the unchanged, passing scenery of trees as I listened to the conversation.

'I'm here.'

Carol grabbed the walkie and answered. I once again shifted in my seat and tickled Liesel's head when she scowled at me for moving and interrupting her peaceful little snooze. I gave her a little smirk as I did, thinking how amusing she could be at times.

'We're halfway there, just wanted to check the range.'

I saw Carol glance behind us at the others cars with critical eyes before sitting forward again.

'Everybody's holding tight. We made it 500 miles, maybe this is the easy part.'

'Got to think we're due. Give us 20 minutes to check in.'

Carol shared a look with Daryl before each turned their attention off each other. I snuck a glance at Carl beside me to see he was fully focused on Judith, who bounced happily on his knee. We hadn't been able to find her a baby seat so Carl had just had to hold on tight to her and hope the brakes didn't have to be applied. Rick, of course, was not too happy about that but realized we didn't really have that much of a choice if we actually wanted to make it to Virginia.

'We don't hear from you, we'll come looking.'

'Copy that.'

The walkie sizzled into silence and the sleepy sound of the engine once again filled the car, almost persuading me that this might be a good time for a nap. Just as I was about to put my head back onto the headrest, I winced in pain and snapped my head forward. Ever since that night I slept against the tree the crick in my neck hadn't gone away and was so painful at times that I was extremely reluctant to even tilt my head. I didn't tell anyone of course: I wasn't the type to complain about aches and pains. I did consider telling Carl at one point, but I think he already knew my pain as I caught him frowning at me on several occasions when I was lowering my head to sleep, as I had to do it slowly and bite my lip to manage it at times. But there was nothing he could do about it, and we both knew it.

As Rick's car continued on down the road, all our other cars pulled off onto the side of the road to wait for their return with news. I have to say I've never been more thankful to get out of a car after having been sat in the back seat for what must have been hours. Liesel hopped off my lap as soon as I opened the door and ran around the treeline, nose to the ground and totally focused. I watched her with a little smile as I gently shook my legs to try and regain some feeling in them: she had been sitting on my legs for hours and the pins and needles stage had come after the first hour. I slid out of the seat and saw all the others jumping out their cars and already planning to set up a perimeter and camp in this flat clearing between the treeline and the edge of the road. Well, since I figured we could be here for a long time, I might be able to start on the book I hadn't got around to reading yet.

All our gear was in the trunks of the cars we were in and so I managed to pull my pack out of the puzzle of other backpacks and duffel bags in the back of the car I had been riding in up here. After (carefully) sifting through all my supplies and pipe bombs I managed to find it and smiled in triumph, and just a little bit of excitement, as I yanked it out and shut the trunk again, sidling around the car to just lie back on the bonnet with my legs crossed in front of me. I turned the book in my hands a moment, relishing the feel of a new book, a new story, just waiting for me to explore it.

Just as I flicked to the first page I noticed Carl coming up to me without Judith, and when I glanced behind him at the others I saw Judith behind him being carried in Carol's arms. After my brief glance at him I turned back to the first sentence.

 _On the first Monday of the month of April, 1625…_

'Hey.'

My eyes left the page to see him standing there in front of the bonnet to my left.

'Hey.'

'Mind if I join you?'

I have to admit I was a little flattered that he bothered to ask, but I thought after how close we had been during the journey up here that he knew he didn't have to. I shrugged.

'Sure.'

He lay beside me and I was reminded of the sunrise in Georgia where he was this close by my side…and then I realized what I was doing and told myself to stop being such an UTTER girl. Eesh. I tried to begin the book again.

 _On the first Monday of the month of April…_

'What are you reading?'

Wordlessly I showed him the cover of The Three Musketeers and hoped that would stop his questions so I could read in peace.

 _On the first Monday…_

'Is it any good?'

At this point I actually didn't know whether to laugh of get angry as I froze in sheer frustration and settled for turning to him with a snappy retort and a pointed look.

'I don't know. I'll tell you when I start reading.'

Carl seemed to get the message as he shifted a little and remained quiet, and I turned back to The Three Musketeers and began to start reading but I couldn't even get past the first word before I sighed and frowned. Perhaps I had been a bit snappier with him than was called for. It caused me to make a 3 second decision that I decided to use as a sort of apology.

'On the first Monday of the month of April, 1625, the small town of Meung, the birthplace of the author of 'The Romance of the Rose', appeared to be in a state of revolution as complete as if the Huguenots were come to make a second siege of La Rochelle…'

Carl appeared to be surprised that I was reading aloud to him, but after a few more sentences he put his head back and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of my voice as I told him of D'Artagnan, but as the pages went on I found myself growing tired.

'…This sleep, still that of a rustic, lasted until 9 o'clock in the morning, the hour at which he rose to repair to the hotel of this famed M. de Treville who, according to D'Artagnan's father, was the third personage in the realm.'

As I finished the first chapter I closed the book, leaning back and closing my eyes in a mimic of Carl's position, placing the book on my abdomen. However, I did not remain that way long as I heard Carl shift before his voice sounded from beside me.

'Why'd you stop?'

I opened my eyes and was actually able to turn my head to see Carl match my gaze, his vivid blue eyes shining bright at me. I gave the best shrug I could while lying down.

'I'm not used to reading aloud.'

I turned my face upwards again and closed my eyes, enjoying the comfort of the dark light that filtered through my eyelids when I heard Carl sit up, and I quickly opened my eyes when I felt the book slide off my abdomen. I gazed at him to see him now sitting up, flicking through the pages of the book to find where I had left off. I gave an almost-unnoticeable smile, and leant back again as he began to read.

'M de Troisville as his family was yet called in Gascony, or M de Treville as he called himself in Paris, had actually begun life like D'Artagnan…'

I was swept away by his voice into The Three Musketeers, hearing the inflections and sounds like they were music. However this music soon stopped and I opened my eyes, having to blink against the suddenly harsh light and I looked at Carl to find he was frowning at the book.

'What?'

He seemed to almost hesitate before he spoke quietly to me.

'How are you meant to say that?'

I sat fully upright and peered over his shoulder to the line he was pointing to: _'Un lion d'or passant, sur gueules'._ I pronounced it in a proper French accent, when I looked at Carl expectantly he just looked at me like I had grown two heads. I wondered aloud as I frowned at him, matching his look.

'What did they not teach you in American schools? Okay, uh lee-on…'

'Uh lee-on…'

'Door passan…'

'Door passan…'

'Sur gerl.'

'Sur gerl.'

I nodded at him as he got the sound of it right.

'Un lion d'or passant, sur gueules.'

'Un lion d'or passant, sur gueules.'

'That's it.'

He nodded at me thoughtfully before turning back to the book. He definitely did better with the Latin phrase that was directly after, and he didn't need any help with other words or phrases in the rest of the chapter. However, I remained upright instead of lying back down, peering into the book beside him as he continued on. I think he understood my tiredness from reading earlier as he finished the end of the second chapter with the same tone I used.

'…At this declaration, during which the door remained open, everyone was silent: and in the midst of this general silence the young Gascon, passing through part of the antechamber, entered the cabinet of the captain of the musketeers, felicitating himself with all his heart upon just escaping the conclusion of this singular quarrel.'

He snapped the book shut with a note of finality, and I gave him a cheeky smirk as he leaned back with a sigh.

'Not bad, though I can't believe you never had French classes at school.'

This, of course, spawned a long discussion and debate over not only teaching languages but school itself. At the school I had gone to, learning a language was mandatory; Carl's school had apparently focused more on Maths and English. This debate must have gone on for over an hour for it only slid to a halt as the others returned. However, it was not a happy party.

Everyone was covered in blood, half of it looking fresh and half of it looking like the black dried blood of the roamers, but we all stopped in shock as they pulled Tyreese's body out of the back seat, an arm gone and covered in even more blood than the others. It took me all of a second to figure out what had happened: he must have been bitten, the others had amputated his arm but he had probably died from the bite and blood loss. I stayed back and remained silent as I saw Sasha come forward in shock, beginning to sob over her dead brother's body, with the others looking on with despair. I stared at my feet as the survivor's guilt I had felt with Bob began to swirl through me again.

Why me? Why ME? WHY ME?!

'We look not at what can be seen, but what can be unseen…'

Gabriel's sermon rang clear through the small field in the trees where we decided to bury Tyreese.

'…For what can be seen is temporary but what cannot be seen is eternal…'

The scraping sound of the shovel in my ears made me flinch like I had at Bob's burial back in Georgia. I didn't understand. Was I cursed? Why did the people around me have to disappear and die while I was the one who continued on?

'…For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.'

The group took turns to place a shovel of dirt onto Tyreese's body, wrapped in a white sheet and staring unseeing through the dirt that now covered his face. I didn't know whether I should step forward and take a turn or not. But then, I was reminded of that night, the night that Rick found me outside the church. He was there too. It was that thought that made me step forward, taking the shovel out of Glenn's hands and pouring a shovel of dirt onto his empty body. I moved back and stood next to the others, not even being able to meet any eyes from the guilt that swarmed my broken soul. Daryl stepped forward to do the same and as I watched sadly, Michonne turned to me.

'Can you sing something?'

I looked at her without comprehending what she was asking. The others around us looked at her before looking at me, not a single thought revealed on their faces or in their eyes. I took a breath before nodding, stepping forward slowly. I glanced at Sasha who had stepped forward for her turn, not letting my frown show as I saw that she was struggling to stand with a blank look on her face. She was numbing herself to the pain.

I swallowed hard. I couldn't save Tyreese. I couldn't help Sasha. He wouldn't be the one to live. She was now the last one of her family left. But that didn't mean I couldn't honour him, and try to soothe her. As I plucked my memories for a song, I thought about home again: how cold the wind was in Edinburgh, how the air smelt so clean compared to the heart of London. The words came unbidden to my lips.

'Feasgar ciùin an tùs a' Chèitein

Nuair bha 'n ialtag anns na speuran

Chualaim rìbhinn òg 's i deurach

'Seinn fo sgàil nan geugan uain'

Bha a' ghrian 'sa chuan gu sìoladh

'S reult cha d' èirich anns an iarmailt

Nuair a sheinn an òigh gu cianail

Tha mo ghaol air àird a' chuain

Thòisich dealt na h-oidhch' ri tùirling

'S lùb am braon gu caoin na flùrain

Shèid a' ghaoth 'na h-oiteig chùbhraidh

Beatha 's ùrachd do gach cluan

Ghleus an nighneag fonn a h-òrain

Sèimh is ciùin mar dhriùchd an Òg-mhìos

'S bha an t-sèisd seo 'g èirigh 'n còmhnaidh

Tha mo ghaol air àird a' chuain

Chiar an latha is dheàrrs' na reultan

Sheòl an rè measg neul nan speuran

Shuidh an òigh, bha 'bròn 'ga lèireadh

'S cha robh dèigh air tàmh no suain

Theann mi faisg air reult nan òg-bhean

Sheinn mu 'gaol air chuan 'bha seòladh

O bu bhinn a caoidhrean brònach

Tha mo ghaol air àird a' chuain

Rinn an ceòl le deòin mo thàladh

Dlùth do rìbinn donn nam blàth-shul

'S i ag ùrnaigh ris an Àrd-Rìgh

Dìon mo ghràdh 'th' air àird a' chuain

Bha a cridh' le gaol gu sgàineadh

Nuair a ghlac mi fhèin air làimh i

Siab do dheòir, do ghaol tha sàbhailt

Thill mi slàn bhàrr àird a' chuain'

I found that as I finished the Gaelic song, I was also numb to the pain. Giving Tyreese the blessing of a song at his funeral had actually made me feel better somehow, and I saw that the grave was completely covered as Rick had continued to shovel as I sang, the others watching me and I realized then that they didn't know that I could sing in Gaelic. We remained there for a moment, each of us looking at the final resting place of Tyreese in farewell before we solemnly turned away and headed back to the convoy.

We travelled the rest of the day in pure silence.

It was only when nightfall came that people actually found the strength to begin to talk again, though it was in hushed whispers and never around Sasha who looked to still be somewhat catatonic. We set up a camp in the quiet, this time I actually helped to string the wire around our perimeter, and I bedded down parallel to the campfire. The numbness was still there: it was like I couldn't feel anything anymore. It was like I just…existed in neutrality.

Everyone turned in without a word, though Sasha opted to stay up under the pretence of taking watch, though it truly wasn't necessary since Daryl was also going on watch. No one said anything though. I saw as I lay down, with the sharp pain in my neck annoyingly present once again, how Sasha sat on the fallen log nearby like she was carved of stone. I frowned at her, knowing I couldn't do anything to ease her pain, knowing there were no words of comfort to give. So I just left it. I also figured she probably wouldn't want to see me right now: after all here I was, a survivor of the thing that had killed her brother and boyfriend too, and me being in her presence was like the equivalent of dangling it in her face. I opted to give her a few days at least.

I lay on the forest floor, Carl by my side with Judith like usual, but I couldn't sleep. My neck was in AGONY and even laying still on the flat ground made it spasm and spike with pain. I still wasn't going to say anything though: a member of the group had just died horribly, so I didn't think they would appreciate a girl who had survived what had killed him to whinge about her neck in the middle of the night. I know I wouldn't. I didn't dare to turn my head: I probably wouldn't be able to turn it back to face forwards again. After another hour of this I gave up trying to sleep, and I slowly sat up while applying pressure to my neck to take away some of the pain. I turned as best I could to see Sasha still sat there, not having moved an inch. It almost appeared as if she wasn't breathing, but I knew better. I don't know what it was, but before I could rethink my choice I had risen and was walking towards her, my thoughts about her probably not wanting to see me flying out the window. I got the feeling that I needed to stay with her, even if we didn't say anything. I took a seat on the log beside her, but I was still conscious to give her space. We stayed there for an immeasurable eternity before Sasha spoke into the thick darkness.

'Why?'

I frowned and looked at her from the corner of my vision, still wary not to move my head. I think Sasha knew I was paying attention to her though, because she turned to me fully, and the glint in her eyes disturbed me slightly.

'Why are you immune?'

I stayed silent, turning it over in my mind. Sasha continued.

'What is it about you that makes you so special?'

'I don't know.'

It wasn't a lie. I had been mulling the question over since I had been bitten, and nothing came to mind. I couldn't think if I had been exposed to something, if there was something in my DNA, if there was ANYTHING that was different about me to everyone else. I hadn't found any magical answer though. And I wasn't too sure I liked where this conversation was going, since I got the feeling that Sasha was trying to say that I was the one who should've died instead of Tyreese. That either we both should've died or neither of us at all. I will admit I took some slight offence to it, though my logical side calmed it and I reminded myself that Sasha had JUST lost her brother less than a day ago, was grieving and not thinking straight. So I decided to take the safe option. After several more moments of silence between us I got off the log and went back to my place on the forest floor.

Sleep still didn't come.

With nothing else to do except lie still and pray that I actually managed to drift off before dawn, I ONCE AGAIN thought over why I was immune. Perhaps I had missed something. Maybe there was something I was overlooking. I didn't think I consumed anything, that I had been exposed to anything. So it mustn't be an outside source: it was something inside of me. A DNA strand? Perhaps it was something in my blood. After all, my blood type was AB-, a rather rare blood type. Just thinking about my blood type sent me hurtling backwards into a memory that I thought I'd forgotten, and it was this memory that finally allowed me to enter the bliss of sleep.

I couldn't remember what age I had been, and only flashes and snippets remained of my full memory of that day, meaningless details remaining in my mind. I had been in class when I had been taken out by the secretary since I had to go to hospital, though I was confused. I remembered that. The memory of my mother arriving felt bittersweet and her gaze flickered between me and the secretary in the brief second that I could recall as she walked towards us. The secretary's name started with a p. Potts? Percy? Pernill. Her name was Mrs Pernill. I remember the feeling of my mother holding my hand, how warm it was compared to mine that day in autumn. Apparently there had been a car accident and the hospital needed me to give blood. At least, that was what happened. I knew that Mum had explained it to me on the way there but the words were all blurred together in my mind now. And for some reason, I remember the shade of grey the sky had been. That I can recall in perfect detail. It's odd what the mind remembers most.

Then it was all white with the humming of voices at a hospital. The warmth of my mother's hand in mine again. The face of the nurse smiled at me, an African American woman with a voice that mixed in my mind with a violin for some reason. I had clutched onto my mother tightly as they took my blood and my mother wrapped her arms around me, a feeling that now made me want to cry and snuggle deeper into her embrace. It stung at first and the nurse had given me instructions now muted. I can't remember how much they had taken from me. I recall about ten seconds of that trip when I had tried to stand and I almost passed out, and Mum had caught me with rising panic in her voice. They'd sat me back down and given me something to eat and drink, and Mum had brought me chocolate buttons. I think I had fallen asleep in her lap to the sound of the nurse and her talking.

I'd asked to see the man who had taken my blood, and after some thought Mum had asked the hospital who had agreed. I'd gone in after school, Mum with me the whole time. He was a young man, only in his twenties, with cut hair and eyes that reminded me of my own. It had been a short visit, and I don't think he had expected a young girl to come and see him at all, especially his blood donor, but I remember the last seconds of the conversation we'd had.

'Will you be alright?'

'I'll be fine. Don't you worry.'

'Okay then.'

'I'll put your blood to good use kid. I promise. And thank you, for saving my life.'

I'd smiled at him, and he'd smiled back. I wonder if he's still alive, back in England.

Whatever the case, I hope he truly did put my blood to good use, like he promised.

 _ **That's it for now! Honestly, this took MONTHS to write. Writer's block hit me hard and I was worrying that I wasn't going to finish this chapter but I pulled through. The song I used was 'My Love is on the High Seas' from the Brave soundtrack since it's a beautiful song (and it was originally meant for Beth's funeral but I didn't know how to write it, so I used it for Tyreese instead). As for the memory, this actually happened to my friend though she was at work and she never met the guy who had been in the car crash.**_

 _ **A.N.: I decided to post just the first chapter for all the people patiently waiting, but all the others are coming soon (I've almost finished working on them) so the rest of Season 5 Part 2 should hopefully be here soon!**_

 _ **I also changed my name from TheNightIsRising to ThePillarsofTranscendence since I liked it better, in case there was any confusion.**_

 _ **Till next time…**_


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